Self-Esteem and Confidence Aren't Necessary for Living Life Full Out, But Knowing Self Is
Most people tend to think that self-esteem and self-confidence are relatively necessary in order to live life full out. Do you? We believe these are imparted to us by our parents or at least by our teachers as if it’s a gift someone else gives to us as we start out in life on this planet. The thing is, I feel we have our understanding of self-esteem and confidence all wrong.
As a child I grew up in a loving home albeit dysfunctional like almost everyone’s. I knew my parents thought I was the bomb and I got that kind of feeling back from my grandparents and my teachers. My name was Michele back then (I changed to a “spiritual name” later in life) and my maternal grandmother used to call me the village belle to rhyme with my first name. I was chosen to carry Mary’s crown in our Catholic school’s big May crowning processions through the neighborhood streets and even called on to be a flower girl for strangers’ weddings at my church. I won the Baccalaureate award in my senior year of high school for religion meaning my teachers thought I was pious and holy. When I went out into the world and got my first career position, the owner of the company proudly introduced me to his colleagues as “a diamond that never fades.” Even after this, I continued to receive accolades…
… and I continued to doubt and think lowly of myself.
Even after all that praise, I still didn’t take it in. I was still timid and if ever I didn’t look timid it was only because I was pushing myself big time.
I raised my son always showering him with every positive thing I could say about him. I wanted him to grow into a man who would just glide into life setting the world alight without hesitation. But I could never figure out why he struggled along the way with how he viewed himself. Why didn’t it match up with what I was surrounding him with?
Hello?! All I really had to do is look at myself and see I had the same struggle. It isn’t so hard, really, to figure out. But knowing him as I do I have observed that he has never wanted anything to just be handed to him. Ever since his earliest days he has wanted to earn or garner all his blessings on his own steam, on his own indigenously created crusade. Observing him teaches me about myself. I realize I am the same way.
You probably are, too.
So this is why even though we may be surrounded by all kinds of positive and good and beautiful and true as children and even well into adulthood, we may still stammer and stumble through life as we go through the process of learning to accept each of our own unique selves and outrageous beauty.
At age 36, I stood before an ascended master and divine mother who was oracled through a holy man. I got my chance to ask a question and it was, “How can I gain more confidence and self-esteem?” Now this omniscient goddess very rarely brought up past lives to us. If someone asked her about a past life she said she would only go there if the story of that life would serve us in the now. She paused briefly and told me of a lifetime in which I needed no confidence at all. I was simply lifted up on beams of light. No confidence or self-esteem was needed. End of story.
I’ve occasionally contemplated the image that gets conjured in my mind when I think about it and I never really understood the message beloved Re was giving me until now.
When you know yourself, you love yourself and there simply is no need for self-esteem or confidence. You know who and what you are and things like self-esteem are needless pursuits. You don’t have to work at it. There is nothing to develop save your ability to allow yourself to go deep into meditation and know the truth.
As that goddess in another dimension in another “time-space sequence” my ambiance responded and bowed to me, a self-knowing goddess.
The only really worthy pursuit is the one of knowing and loving self. When you have that, you have everything and worldly expectations of things like achieving self-esteem disintegrate into a million pieces in your hands.